Election '08 Liveblog

6:04pm McCain: 8, Obama: 3
We’re watching CNN with our wineglasses full of our last bottle of Welch’s sparkling grape juice. Somehow, with 0% of the vote, they’ve already managed to call a few races. I’m a little skeptical about it all, but when they’re usually right, what can you say?

6:08pm
“The body’s not cold,” says the esteemed William Bennett. There’s just something intrinsically funny about that statement coming from this guy.

6:15pm
Help me, Obi-Wolf! Help me!

You’ve got to be kidding me… CNN has appeared to have lost their collective minds. This is some weird mix of Star Wars, Star Trek… and now Wolf just said “we can have an intimate conversation.” Where’s the FCC when you need them? Just bizarre. Says Sharon: “It’s like the 360º mirror, but worse.”

6:25pm
Casserole is out of the oven! Curry chicken, broccoli, and cheese. Just can’t beat it.

6:28pm
And now here’s John King, bringing the sanity back as well as his Magic Board. Love that Magic Board. That’s kid-in-a-candy-store kind of stuff to me.

7:21pm McCain: 34, Obama: 77
We’re going to leave behind the 0% returning votes projections of which CNN is so fond (on the other hand, why the wait on calling Alabama and Mississippi? I know I just wondered an hour ago how they can project some governorships and presidential elections going on nearly nothing, but then you have states like AL and MS. Seriously. Just color them red already?). Anyway, we’re leaving them behind for free ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s. We’ll be following all the action with NPR.

8:20pm McCain: 69, Obama: 174
Went to Ben and Jerry’s at the Summit to get our free ice cream, and the line was wrapping around the corner. We went to Publix instead and bought a pint of Ben and Jerry’s instead. This is the Tsay family, doing our part for the local economy. :-D Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Obama is doing really well in some states that George W. Bush carried, John King and NPR tell us ad nauseum. That bodes well for our candidate. And the night marches on.

8:35pm McCain: 69, Obama: 194
Ohio is projected for Barack Obama. Game, set, match. Switching over to Comedy Central in 25 minutes for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s Election Night Special!

9:59pm McCain: 135, Obama: 220
Larry Wilmore and Wyatt Cenac just kill me. “It’s an historic night,” say Colbert and Stewart. Comedy Central has called the election for Barack Obama. That’s good enough for me. And, John Oliver’s cat is named “Meowgaret Thatcher.” And, Rob Riggle isn’t wearing pants. That’s perfect.